The Accidental Pharisee

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

A Beginning of Sorts

I've been out of step with you for a long time ... What you're after is truth from the inside out.
Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.
Psalm 51:5-6 The Message



A new year.

A new blog.

You'd think with two blogs (The Writing Road and Mommy-Come-Lately), I wouldn't need a third. I certainly wondered if I had time for another blog.

But I basically dared myself to set up this blog--and I didn't want to back down from my own dare.

You see, a few weeks ago I realized that I was a Pharisee.

I'd been talking with a trusted counselor about my relationship with God. I said something. He said something. And then I realized that I'd allowed an awful lot of let-me-do-it-my-way self-righteousness to influence my interaction with God. I looked at my friend and said, "I didn't mean to be a Pharisee."

And then I started sobbing.

Moments of truth are painful.

And my friend, wise man that he is, said nothing. He just let me be in the truth.

I've walked around with this uncomfortable truth, asking myself Where do I go from here? What now, God?

This blog is my chance to think out loud. To ask myself how did I get here--and how do I get to where I want to be with God.

Maybe along the way I'll find few friends who can point me in the right direction.

6 Comments:

  • I am beyond proud of you. You inspire me.

    God is at work, you are his handiwork. Beautiful.

    By Blogger Tiffany Stuart, At January 1, 2008 at 8:45 AM  

  • Beautiful and real. There's nothing more beautiful than real. Our Lord will be faithful to change from the inside out.

    By Blogger Paula, At January 1, 2008 at 12:07 PM  

  • Encouraging words certainly ease the weight of this giant step of spiritual honesty.
    Thank you, my friends.

    By Blogger Beth K. Vogt, At January 1, 2008 at 10:30 PM  

  • Happy New Year to you!

    I love this post. I'm so glad you've started this blog - it will help you, but it will also help anyone who reads it. A true blessing for all.

    I know I've definitely caught myself acting or thinking like a Pharisee, and it is not a good feeling. Pride is something I struggle with often, and it shows me just how far I still have to go on my faith journey. Thanks for being so open - it really is refreshing!

    By Blogger elizabeth, At January 2, 2008 at 10:59 AM  

  • Good stuff, Beth. I love that verse, too. If we are honest, there is a bit of pharisee in most of us. "Moments of truth are painful." I'm well acquainted with that pain, but truth does set us free. Amen?

    By Blogger Patricia, At January 2, 2008 at 1:35 PM  

  • I knew I'd identify! Although I'm not so sure I am so excited about seeing myself as a Pharisee, but I've realized it in my head but never spoke it outloud and certainly not to anyone. You are brave Beth, and even though I don't know you yet it gives me courage. Oh the pride of a Pharisee...I didn't mean to be here...and yet...

    By Blogger SharonB, At June 5, 2008 at 10:47 AM  

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